Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize