The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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