Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
