TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
