used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
