Do vagina's smell?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
