Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
