Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just want to make out with him forever
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
