PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
