At least make sure they are 18
Why
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
