my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize