I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
