it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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