I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
