dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
