the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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