i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
