Welp...herpes.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
