Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
