you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
