just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
