Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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