you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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