the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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