I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
