O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Even my vagina gasped.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
