The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize