Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
