I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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