lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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