Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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