Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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