there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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