After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
