we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize