Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
