You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
