i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
