I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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