My nipple is on Facebook.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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