What did we do last night that was yellow?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
