matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize