is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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