i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
