Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Randomize
