You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize