i just had sex bonerless
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
