yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
