i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
