you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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