How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
its liver damage thursday
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
