i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize