just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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