She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Watching her eat just hurts me
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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