You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
