so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
