How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
