Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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