Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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