I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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