I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
