This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
