I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
