we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
