For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My vagina is officially offended.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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