She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
