Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize