Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
